Unveiling the Masterpiece
The buzz about town is pretty interesting, and at times gut busting funny this week. Of course, I’m still stoked about the first week in February, as my Chiefs won the Superbowl, my Chief won in the impeachment trial, and my chief Twitter crush is back on Twitter. However, I spent time scanning Twitter for all the latest, and I found quite a few doozies. This edition of What’s the Buzz is popcorn and tissue worthy. And without further ado, I present my findings.
Amber Rose sure loves her two kids. It is an admirable trait in any mother to want to show that off. Amber is trending because she had a way of doing so that makes one think of graffiti on the Mona Lisa. Apparently the tramp stamp is no longer popular, because the beauty couldn’t find anywhere on her lush body better suited to having her children’s names tattooed than her forehead.
The popular model unveiled the masterpiece yesterday, in a pic on Instagram, and delivered a stinging rebuke to “haters” who thought maybe there were other options besides the forehead. Amber Rose is a stunning beauty who has plenty of tattoos, so it does seem a sacrilege she would choose to mar her face. However, you can’t help but love her for the reason she got the tattoo in the first place. That is the love of a mother.
What Did He Just Say?
Joe Biden gives us a wonderful new addition to the National Joe Biden Gaffe Collection (it could happen!). Just the other day, in answer to a voter’s question about why he lost in Iowa, he informed her she is a “lying dog faced pony soldier.” This, in addition to poking people in the chest, challenging people to feats of strength, and promising beat downs I’m positive he would end up on the receiving end of, has dethroned Biden as the Democrat Party front-runner.
The new front-runner is someone I am not quite sure is an improvement. Bernie Sanders surged ahead and won New Hampshire’s Democrat primary. The old Socialist’s win is overshadowed only by the massive win President Trump turned out. That noteworthy personage churned out numbers over double those of Barack Obama in New Hampshire. I’m sure Bernie has a more eminent threat to worry about though, as the DNC is undoubtedly looking for a way to screw him again. Poor ol’ Bernie. They never let him play any reindeer games.
Forgetting Fast and Furious
#DisbarBarrNow is trending. Not for any reason that makes any sense at all, and of course coming from people who stayed silent during fast and furious. Adam Schiff tweeted something as asinine as you would expect from him, bemoaning the “damage” being “inflicted” on the Department of Justice. Schiff had this to say: “How do we measure the damage Bill Barr is inflicting on the independence, integrity and reputation of the Department of Justice? We can’t.” Just goes to show the Democrat party is full of lying dog faced pony soldiers.
Marie Yovanovitch received an award! Yes, that’s right. The ousted Ambassador who was caught spying on people and talking trash on the president to foreign dignitaries got an award for… Wait for it… Excellence in Diplomacy. Yovanovitch defended her choice to participate in the partisan coup against the president by penning an op-ed in which she had this to say:
“‘When civil servants in the current administration saw senior officials taking actions they considered deeply wrong in regard to the nation of Ukraine, they refused to take part. When Congress asked us to testify about those activities my colleagues and I did not hesitate, even in the face of administration efforts to silence us.’” Yovanovitch joins a whole host of those who joined in the coup who have since taken to various forms of media in an attempt to change public perception of them, to include James Comey and Lisa Page. Ugh.
Pint Sized Panderer
“Mike (Bloomberg) For Black America” will launch in Houston Texas tomorrow. Tiny Tim the Stop and Frisker is holding this event at the Buffalo Soldier National Museum, and has packed the place with food trucks and free concerts. Apparently he forgot Beyonce and Jay Z didn’t do squat for Hillary’s campaign. Given the Mini Mayor’s past of throwing Blacks against the wall and touting the virtue of terrorizing Blacks and Latinos on the streets of New York, this event couldn’t have come at a worse time.
The event is sure to be seen for what it is, especially coupled with the diminutive candidate’s bid to get people to say nice things about him. A pandering pile of steaming excrement designed to distract from the fact he was one of the most racist mayors in NYC’s history, and the orchestrator of much of the mistrust between the NYPD and minority communities. The sudden focus on the black community by Democrats should merely serve to highlight the very true statement that they’re paraded out every four years only to pander to for votes, then forgotten again throughout the following years.
On whether or not his comments regarding Stop and Frisk and other Bloomberg era travesties will hurt him in the black community, the fun sized dictator in waiting stated this: “I think people look at it and they say those words don’t reflect Michael Bloomberg, the way he governed in New York City, the way he runs his company, the way his philanthropy works.” If his own words do not reflect who he is, why in the world would he even utter them?
Ew! That’s Gross!
On an equally disgusting note, if you ever wondered what not to get for your valentine, may I offer this as an example? According to Page Six, the “world famous” French royal sex chair has been marked down for bargain clearance! This 1890’s piece of fornication furniture was designed especially for Edward VII, the Prince of Wales and future King of England. Legend has it this historic love chair was designed to fit Edward VII perfectly. Which is hilariously dreadful, as the good Prince/King was said to be quite corpulent. The antique masterpiece is currently owned by the great grandson of the chair’s manufacturer, Monsieur Louis Soubrier.
It couldn’t be any grosser, however, than receiving incense and candles made to smell like the vagina of some pampered Tinseltown princess. In the wake of Gwyneth Paltrow’s candle dubbed “This Smells Like My Vagina,” and certainly not to be outdone, Erykah Badu has an incense on deck that smells like her vagina. Because Apple Spice and Sandalwood Grove are too blase for the year 2020. I can’t help but notice there are no candles or incense made to smell like their male counterparts.
Going Around and Coming Around
#Prednisone is trending, and the reason had me laughing like a loon. Although it is never OK to attack someone for their looks, it is rather funny to see Democrats squawking about poor Ashley Judd and her puffy face being a victim of exactly the same thing they doled out to Sarah Sanders. I’ll probably laugh again when their right wing counterparts start screaming when one of their paragons of virtue is run through the lefty ringer again. Justice has a twin named Karma, and both are blindfolded.
Elizabeth Warren stopped by a diner while campaigning in New Hampshire this week. The reaction of the diners will have you in stitches. No matter how hard our resident faux native tried, she couldn’t garner so much as a smoke signal of distress from the diners she approached. You would think this would wake ol’ Talking Bullshit up as to what her past choices have done to her standing. But she forged ahead with a video of Ashley Judd making phone calls on her behalf. Which is what started the whole #Prednisone hashtag off. Thanks Liz.
And last, but certainly not least, Rick Moranis is reprising his role in a new reboot of “Honey, I shrunk the kids.” Many fondly remember Moranis as the lovable dorky inventor dad who created a shrinking ray, only to shrink his kids with it. Who could forget the epic journey through the back yard? The swim in a bowl of cheerios? And let’s not forget the pet ant who helped the children trek through the yard. It is not known yet when Shrunk, Disney’s newest installment, will debut, but we do know it is meant for theaters, not Disney+.
And that is the buzz about town for this edition. Check in again next week for more juicy news bits sure to entertain.
- Eric Swalwell Keeps Poking The Bear - May 28, 2020
- What’s The Buzz?: Whatever, Karen! - May 28, 2020
- Michael Flynn Cleared of Charges - May 7, 2020
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