The family that skates together stays together.

The influence-peddling, money laundering, and foreign shakedowns encircling Hunter Biden, his uncle Jim, and The Big Guy in the Oval Office have received considerable attention, at least in the conservative media. But even Fox News addicts would be stunned by how many Bidens have T-boned into the law and waltzed away from the wreckage.

The Biden family is an ongoing crime spree in which the word “consequences” might as well be in Swahili. 

The New York Post’s Jon Levine recently detailed how the Bidens get away with lawlessness  over and over and over again. Being a Biden means never facing the music for crimes that routinely land non-royals behind bars.

• First son Hunter Biden earned at least $8.3 million in foreign schemes, according to IRS whistleblowers, evidently in exchange for access to his father. Echoing Watergate’s “Saturday Night Massacre,” the U.S. Department of Obstruction of Justice told the IRS on May 15 to instruct whistleblower Gary Shapley and his 12-member team to stop investigating Hunter. A concurrent DOJ probe already had devoured five years, as statutes of limitation repeatedly expired. 

With Hunter no longer under the IRS’ microscope, his lawyers and DOJ agreed that federal prosecutors would request two years of probation once Hunter pled guilty to misdemeanors, not felonies, for not paying $100,000 in taxes on $1.5 million in income in 2017 and ’18. That 6.7% effective tax rate is the Democrats’ new definition of “fair share.” If tax-evading actor Wesley Snipes were named Wesley Biden, he would have savored such a wrist massage. Instead, he spent nearly three years in prison.

Hunter Biden lied on a gun-purchase application, claiming to be drug-free. He soon illegally possessed a gun while drug-addicted. Federal prosecutors want Hunter in a diversion program, not prison. Confirming America’s two-tier justice system, rapper Kodak Black received a 46-month prison sentence for lying on a gun form.

An anti-corruption nonprofit called Marco Polo on July 1 released photos discovered on the “Laptop from Hell.” In them, Hunter snapped himself holding a crack pipe while driving through Arlington, Virginia, on June 12, 2018. That August 1, Hunter photographed himself piloting a Porsche to Las Vegas at 172 MPH.

Again: No punishment. 

What next? Will Hunter become the Department of Transportation’s Man of the Year? 

• First daughter Ashley Biden was busted for marijuana possession in 1999, while at Tulane University. New Orleans police confirm her arrest, but court documents show no conviction.

Ashley Biden offended again, after a 2002 bottle-shattering fracas outside a Chicago bar. She allegedly tried to obstruct a cop and made “intimidating statements.” So what? Charges were dropped. 

In 2009, Levine reports, a woman who looks like Ashley Biden appeared in a video, seemingly snorting cocaine at a Delaware house party. Once again, she skated.

• First brother Frank Biden was a passenger in an Aug. 14, 1999, drunk-driving crash near San Diego. On Sept. 2, 2002, a court found him partially liable for fatally hitting single-father Michael Albano. He was told to pay Albano’s daughters $550,000 in damages. With interest, this had grown to $880,000. As the Daily Mail reports, Frank Biden skipped court appearances and paid the Albanos nothing through at least 2020.

On Aug. 20, 2003, Frank Biden was arrested for drunk driving in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. His license had been suspended four times. Penalty: Six months’ probation.

That Oct. 27, he got nabbed at a Pompano Beach, Florida, Blockbuster with two stolen DVDs shoved in his pants. He missed his court hearing and apparently skirted prosecution.

On Nov. 21, 2004, he was arrested yet again for driving with a suspended license. Rather than jail, he got three months at the Watershed rehab facility.

• First niece Caroline Biden, was charged in September 2013 with punching an NYPD officer at her Tribeca apartment after an unpaid-rent dispute turned violent. She underwent anger management, and everything vanished without prison time.

In 2017, she charged $110,000 on a stolen credit card. She spent those funds at Manhattan’s elegant Bigelow Pharmacy. That fraud won her a felony conviction. However, she later re-pled to petty larceny, a lower crime, and avoided prison.

While driving sans license in August 2019, Caroline Biden plowed into a tree in Lower Merion Township, Pennsylvania. She “had difficulty focusing,” said arresting Officer Jeffrey Seamans. Blood tests verified that she was under the influence of several drugs, including carisoprodol (a prescription muscle relaxant) and lorazepam (a pharmaceutical anti-anxiety aide).

Fifteen months later, she was arraigned on Nov. 4, 2020 — one day after the Biden-Trump general election. How convenient.

What did these three crimes cost Caroline Biden? Probation!

First lady Jill Biden seems to be the only prominent Biden not suspected of, charged with, nor guilty of serious crimes. Like a Mafia matriarch, she smells like a rose, and she “ain’t seen nuttin.’”

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