Dirt-y Politics: A Weird First Week for Beto

Poor Beto.

In a field crammed with candidates, it can be guaranteed that O’Rourke would have preferred a different start. Robert Francis O’Rourke started his campaign for President on March 14, 2019. Just seven days in, things are already very weird for the failed Senate candidate turned Presidential hopeful. Let’s take a walk through a few of the most outrageous headlines so far.

Beto Eats Dirt

Normally, you would assume that’s a fallacious headline to draw you in, but it’s not. That is how weird this list begins: Beto eating dirt. The Washington Post reported in an article on March 19 that after losing the election to Cruz, O’Rourke was really struggling. That’s where things go downhill fast.

You read that right, Beto ate dirt to try and squelch his feelings of sadness or despair. Additionally, I think it is interesting that they insinuate that he is fairly unstable, referencing his wife as the “stable one.” This sounds like a theme from The Golden Girls and the classic “Eat dirt and die trash” scene!

Beto and the Cult of the Dead Cow

Before O’Rourke was eating dirt to cure his sadness over a failed Senate run, he was a member of the ‘Cult of the Dead Cow.’ The group sounds like some satanic cult, but it’s not, it’s a group of computer hackers. Beto was involved with the group during his teenage years in the 1980’s under the name “Psychedelic Warlord” according to reports by Joseph Menn for Reuters this week. Menn revealed that there was no reason to believe that O’Rourke took part in the actual hacking that was done by the group, but he did write short stories and published them online during his time there.

Excerpt from the short story written by “Psychedelic Warlord” aka Beto O’Rourke.

One of the stories, O’Rourke wrote, however had very dark undertones. Keep in mind his admitted lack of mental stability. The story, which you can still read online, talks of running down two children with his car because they had joy and happiness that he believed he deserved more than they did. Don’t be fooled, the two stories that have been discussed so far are linked. A young Beto struggled with feelings of jealousy and rage over not having the “happiness” that others had. An older, more recent Beto struggles with the same issue. This time, however, he resorts to eating dirt instead of writing dark stories about killing children. I’m not trying to say he has mental problems, but it’s definitely a weird correlation all those years apart.

Beto the Absentee Father?

Every campaign needs a strong start. That is what dictates legitimacy and (sadly) more importantly money coming in to fund the campaign. As O’Rourke started his campaign this week with multiple events around Iowa, he made some pretty obvious blunders in joking about his family life. Beto mentioned that his wife, Amy, had raised their three kids “sometimes with my help.” He undoubtedly was joking when he made these statements, but the “joke” has many on the left slightly perturbed with the Presidential candidate.

The grievances come by the perceived “privilege” he was portraying by making it sound like his wife had to bear the burden of the kids while he was allowed to pursue his political dreams. Though most level-headed individuals would realize the “joke” in the statement, in today’s Democrat party there is very little room for such humor. Not a good look to the people Beto would need votes from to win.

Rough Start for Beto

Undoubtedly, this week could have gone better. The Beto camp would likely say that this is all fairly inconsequential in the grand scope of his campaign ambitions. However, there is something to be said for starting strong. Strong isn’t the word I would use to describe this week. With such a crowded field of Democrats, anything that doesn’t hurt you helps you. Maybe all this press, even negatively, will bolster Beto’s efforts for the 2020 nomination. Just in case it doesn’t, I bet O’Rourke has some extra dirt lying around.

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Bradley Brewer
Bradley Brewer is a contributing editor for NRN, citizen journalist and pro-life Christian. He is a basketball coach, cryptocurrency trader and a sub-par golfer.

Kelly Offield is an investigative journalist and columnist for NRN, specializing on Big Tech's control of information. Click the red bell on the bottom left to turn on NRN's website notifications and watch Kelly Offield's author page to follow the developments of his column.